that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
