You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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