so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
