How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
