like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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