we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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