i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
