You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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