Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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