He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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