My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
