the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
