we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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