I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
