So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
there is glitter all over my balls
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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