I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
