I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
