Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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