do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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