wat bout pragnant strippers??
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
