so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
