She announced her abortion via fbk
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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