If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
