belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
