so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
