the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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