that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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