That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
