I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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