I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
