I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
