Just cropdusted the office
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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