Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm passing your future prison.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
