At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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