i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
