it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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