Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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