Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Operation Purity has been aborted
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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