There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
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Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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