So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
