after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
why is half of my head shaved?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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