It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
