Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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