Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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