I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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