Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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