guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
