Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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