Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
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