He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
