I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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