can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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