2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Yo dont text me then not text me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hippo gnu deer
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
