The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
