if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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