you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize