I'm sorry my penis didn't work
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
